Osprey’s Eye (A Dragonguard backstory for Shurri Shoalward)

Lighter than gold, stronger than sunlight, warmer than daisies, and more subtle than the skin of a lemon, that was the yellow of the osprey’s eye. She was a beautiful mother, a calm spirit of a hunter. Her beak was slightly elevated looking down at the floor to watch for mice or martins. Her plumage was forged from clouds and stars. Her talons were deadly and precise. Despite her captivity the osprey looked like a proud woman. Released, she could soar above Tempest Gulf, snatching fish from nets or line. She could choose a mate for spring, feed young in summer, and find her life renewed by autumn. But the cage was made of metal, the lock was something a bird couldn’t open, and even a sympathetic girl of thirteen couldn’t free the hunter.

Shurri’s eyes of faint blue were locked onto the osprey’s. She didn’t fear Shurri. There was enough intelligence behind her eyes to understand the futility of her captivity. Later, someone might toss some minnows into the cage, but other than that, she was simply waiting for the day a knife would pierce her chest and that same thirteen-year old girl would examine the size of her heart, the weight of her lungs, and color of her guts. The room was full of sacrifices. Osprey, marmoswine, and veer all waited for their death.

The marmoswines were loudest, hollering and squealing enough for the other two to find their silence. The open snout simians would pull at their cages and try to mimic the act of unlocking the door with long bits found in the rashes. They had to be kept separate lest they take their aggression out on their cellmate. Two fan faced speciments tried to push their arms through the metal wiring, but only their fingers dangled towards each other.

The veer were allowed a small kindness of companionship, their serpentine bodies interlocked in their cell of glass. While younger females spread their wings out to threaten rivals and fight for space, the dominant adults were content to lie in the ball of males and young, only rearing up if a youth dared to encroach upon her claim. Light came in from the door and male and female alike rose to spread their wings. But it wasn’t the light of the sun and so they would only posture and hiss. Still one younger female was foolish enough to coil her body against a sun warmed rock. She leapt at the entrance, and the lid rebuked her back to the floor, caught on top of the largest ball. The dominant female struck the younger five times before the youth slithered to the safety of egg sized burrows at the cold part of the cell.

“Close the door,” Shurri told the light bringer.

They did. “Shurri, fifth class is starting.” It was Lisette Whitefoot, Shurri’s short blonde friend. Born of Soujern decent, her blue eyes were cool where Shurri’s were warm.

Shurri couldn’t stop the march of time. Sparing would start. The animals inside would die. She walked past her friend, and the pair walked down the halls of Blue Light Preordinant. Beside Lisette, two of Shurri’s steps matched five of Lisette’s. The shorter girl kept pace with her. She walked as if about to break into a run, her balance stiff and confident.

“How did you know where to find me?” Shurri asked.

Lisette chuckled. “Were you trying to hide? I know we haven’t been spending a lot of time together lately, but I’d like to think we’re still friends.”

“Of course we are.” Their fight echoed through Shurri’s mind. The pair turned a corner. Lisette waved at the Icewall kids gathered around the ceramics room. None cared to put a voice to the encounter.

Lisette broke through the silence of their footsteps. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“Stop. You don’t need to apologize. I was the one at fault. I shouldn’t have held your bag out of reach.”

They came to the main doors. Children barely old enough to own a dragon ran around the grass playing games of speed as they hurled insults like breaths of lightning. The honorable stood by the entrance to the skyhitch discussing titles not yet possessed. Delinquents scrubbed the walls and mid-years gathered round the garden to tend to the many flowers and herbs of the yard. The other thirteen year olds were by the yard, some took stances or meditative poses in a vain attempt to earn the Edler’s praise.

“Why’d you do it?” Before they got to the yard, Lisette slowed her pace to a crawl.

Shurri matched that pace. “I was mad. You were right about me. I want to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection,” Lisette snapped.

Shurri sighed. “I know. I know that we won’t be friends forever and that you need to take care of yourself. I guess some part of me still thinks of you as a raincloud.”

“I haven’t cried at school since I was ten.”

“I know, but you’re still shy. People push you around at sparing...and you don’t hear the way the kids from Icewall talk about you.”

“Shurri, they’re from my house. If I can’t learn to walk on thin ice I’ll never be where I need.”

“Even if they’re wingless dirt merchants?”

“Especially then.” Lisette stopped at the edge of the yard. The pupils left the skyhitch’s entrance and spread out to gather the children in doors. “What do you think it’s going to be like when we’re older? Anywhere we go we’ll be surrounded by selfish title seekers. I need to be able to stand up to the Ionna’s of the world. I need to do it on my own.”

Shurri nodded. “They’re going to hurt you.”

“I know.” She sighed. “I wish everyone who wanted to pursue merit were like us, getting the title because they loved their field.” Lisette smiled at Shurri.

Shurri couldn’t return the smile. “I don’t think I can be an Edler of Animals.”

“Why not?”

Lisette’s question was interrupted by the Edler of Battle’s arrival. The pupils passed out practice weapons and the girls jogged into position. The friends didn’t dare chatter during warm ups and they were kept apart in sparring. Edler Tosca was diligent in keeping friends apart. She didn’t tolerate laughter on the yard. Shurri and Lisette had sixth class on opposite sides of the preordinant school, so Shurri figured Lisette would let the issue drop. She was wrong, of course.

Even though Shurri was first out of Geography, Lisette was waiting by the entrance to House Chambers. Her long blonde hair covered most of her face, but Lisette met eyes with Shurri and gave a wave. The tall girl waved back and slunk into Chambers.

“I’ll wait here for you,” the normally shy girl said.

Shurri managed not to grimace. Yesterday, Shurri was sure Lisette would never talk to her again and now she was trying to help Shurri deal with bad dreams. House Chambers kept individual chests and changing rooms for the members of each House. Some kept servants on retainer so they’d be able to travel back to their homesteads and pick up trinkets. Others were lucky enough to keep birds, lizards, and other animals in cages. Born to Shoalward, Shurri’s family had neither the influence nor wealth for such extravagences. She was simply there. She dropped off books and managed her pack.

Boys and girls around her age changed into the night’s riding clothes, with some even getting fit with finery to attend the night’s debut - some Boltri girl from North Door if Shurri remembered correctly. Shurri found herself dreading public changing as she aged. Lanky and tall, her flat chest and hairy legs drew the wrong kind of attention, and that afternoon she didn’t have the energy to fight off the heckling. Still, the day’s tunic was soured by sweat, so she crouched down and changed her shirt.

Shurri wasn’t the only one trying to hide her figure. Though not as tall, Iyes Springtide suffered from a gangly physique as well. She’d never been one to care about martial beauty, her ribs poked out like smoked fish. From the look on Iyes’ worried brow, she needed to change for the evening’s activities. No sooner had she started undoing her chest wrap, then Ionna Boltri spoke up.

“My! Spring has come early, hasn’t it?” The cruel faced wretch said. Ionna was having himself fit for a jacket. Laughter answered Ionna’s observations.

Iyes turned around, putting her front towards the semi-open corner, but there was no more refuge there. “Indeed it has!” Added an older girl of Swiftly. “It’s a shame the garden seems to be nothing but buds.” She said of Iyes’ chest.

Iyes glowered at the girl but reached down to grab a silken top.

An honored girl of fifteen answered her friend’s call, “I’d heard that-”

Shurri pushed the girl. Her shins hit a chest and she would’ve landed nose first into the wall had her friends not pushed her. The older girls and a few boys in the area turned to Shurri.

“I’d heard that even fools knew how to keep their tongues, but rumors are like mold, they always collect around the dim and wet,” Shurri snarled.

“You forget your place, lady kelp!” The older girl snapped.

“And you forget the taste of blood in your mouth. I’d be happy to fix that for you!” Shurri cracked her knuckles.

“What’s going on here?” Bellowed one of the servants.

The highborn children looked to their possessions.

“Shurri Shoalward! I might’ve known. If you’re looking for punishment, I’ll bear witness before the Grand Edler,” said the servant.

Iyes put herself between Shurri and the brown-skinned man in muted blue. “She’s on her way. No harm was done.”

Before anyone had the chance to speak up, Iyes pulled Shurri out the door. The pair fast walked to escape to the skyhitch. Lisette jogged to catch up with them.

“What was all that?” Lisette asked.

“Ionna Boltri thought to make a fool of me, so Shurri did what she does best.”

“You’re not going to get in trouble again, are you Shurri?”

“Who me? I’m an honorable citizen.” Shurri thrust a thumb to her chest. “A noble of virtue. I never get into trouble. We really don’t need to walk so fast.”

Iyes looked back at the heads poking out of Stormblade’s chambers. “Yes, we do.”

~ ~ ~

The trio ate spuds and scallops on dragonback. The elemental beasts were sitting in an open top skyhitch. Each dragon sniffed each other through the creaky wooden walls. Attendance was so low that high up on the dock. It seemed like half of Stormblade were out at the debut and those remaining probably had more important things to do than walk around dockwall in search of foreign goods and exotic eats. There was only a single Night Dragon at the hitch. The sound of its slumber was louder than the waves of the gulf, some ten stories down. Out over Tempest Gulf, yellow sunlight turned amber as it journeyed down to the valley of dreams.

“Are you sure you’re not going to get in trouble?” Lisette asked Iyes for the third time since they’d sat down.

“I told you it’s fine. Besides, my mom’s been flying in a twister lately. Some Keeper can’t sneeze without there being some reason for me to, ‘make an appearance.’ It’s exhausting. Last Gryxo, I had to go to the Swiftly’s for a choir!”

Iyes looked to Shurri with enthusiasm but she didn’t even smirk.

“What’s up with her?” Iyes asked Lisette.

“She doesn’t want to be an Edler.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You said, ‘I don’t think I can be an Edler of Animals.’ Does that mean something else?”

Shurri put her head in her hands.

“Shurri.” Iyes changed her tone to be serious. “What’s going on?”

Rather than slip deeper into her melancholy or share her pain, Shurri changed the current of her mind. “I want to free the animals at school.”

Her friends shared a nervous look. Lisette bit her lip, but Iyes threw the last of her meal to the rubbish bin. Patting her hands clean she stood on the center of her saddle. “We’ll get caught.”

Shurri looked up at her friend. “How can you be so sure?”

“There are always people at the school. There’d have to be a huge guest like an Archdomitor or the Scion herself. Even still, our absence would be noticed. Assuming they didn’t and we pulled it off, the fleeing animals would alert the entire school to what we’d done.”

“We could transport the animals by renting a winged wagon.”

“We’re thirteen, Shurri? Do you think that merchants would just let us have a couple padmatts and gear without asking us any questions?” Iyes was getting louder.

“Stop,” squeaked Lisette.

Shurri rose to tower over Iyes. “Your mother is a keeper and wagons are flying in an out of the school’s storage area everyday. We could figure out the schedule, make a switch-”

“No!” Lisette screamed. “We’re not doing this! We’re not risking our lives and our reputations again!”

“It’s only a risk if we get caught, right Iyes?” Shurri looked to her friend for support but she was watching the stairs.

“No. We might not have been punished, but there was a cost for what we did!” Lisette screamed. Her face was red. A vein in her forehead pulsed. She gasped. “I can’t go to flight class without wondering, ‘is it going to happen, today?’ I don’t want another lie hanging over me!”

Shurri took a gulp of air, it tasted of mold and seasalt. She looked to Iyes again.

“I have to smile at the Order. Everytime I see them, I smile and talk to them and compliment their jewelry. I used to lie and tell myself that I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, but one day someone asked me, ‘why do you hate the Edlers and Pupils?’ I couldn’t figure out what they meant because I couldn’t see how fake my nice behavior was. I’d been trying to build up a case for my character. I was preparing for the day when the Matrons and Patrons came to school and asked if I was a bad person.” Iyes crouched down and held her legs. Her Storm Dragon underfoot craned her neck back to check on Iyes. Iyes pat her head.

Lisette got off her saddle to throw her potato skin and sauce into the rubbage bin. She produced a handkerchief and cleaned herself off.

Shurri cleaned her face and hands. There was no food left to throw away. Her dragon, Cedia, was happy to growl at the other dragons. His wings were unfurled, ready for a skirmish or flight to work through this aggression that turned Shurri’s blood hot. She felt the gulf breeze and imagined it blowing her problems away. When she opened her eyes, nothing had changed.

“It’s at the privy for me,” admitted Shurri. She sat down and pulled at a handkerchief. “For almost two years now, I’ve been looking for blood on my clothes. Every time I go to the privy I’m holding my breath. My shoulders hunch up. My fists get tight. But there’s nothing there. It feels like a joke but the kind where I’m too close to see the humor. So I’m just prancing around like a fool until I run off stage to applauds.”

“You haven’t bled?”

“No. I’m thirteen and I’m starting to wonder if something’s going on. Maybe because I’m a girl and my dragon is a boy, it’s doing something to my body. I’m taller than any girl at the school, no one can deny that.”

“True, but Ionna isn’t short.”

“What if he’s short for his family? What if it’s changing him in a different way?” Shurri knew there wasn’t any way to find the answer to that question.

Boys weren’t supposed to ride girl dragons and visa versa. When the three of them switched Shurri and Ionna’s egg five years ago, they had no idea what would happen. They had no way of knowing how the waiting would eat away at them.

“Ionna will find out first,” said Lisette. “He’ll deny it at first, not being able to believe that his precious Squall is a girl. But eventually she’ll go into heat, or someone else will ask him about Squall and then they’ll look around for a girl riding a boy dragon, and they’ll figure out it was you, Shurri.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I foresee it.”

Shurri hopped off her saddle and pushed against the stable fences. “You don’t know that! You’re not a Dragon Knight! You can’t see the future!”

“Then what’s going to happen? Do you really think that you’ll just never mature?”

“Maybe!”

Lisette got on her saddle. Her Ice Dragon raked her claws against the dirt. Annoyed by the mess she shook her claws clean.

“What if Shurri’s right?” Iyes offered. “Dragons and humans bond from a young age. What if it isn’t just Dragon Knights and Wyrms who soul bond with their dragons, what if we take on aspects of our dragon the second we hold our hatchling in our arms? Shurri could be turning into something that’s not a female, but also not a male. If the same thing is happening to Cedia and Squall, they might never develop sexual organs.”

“You’re still only thirteen,” Lisette reminded the excited pair. “Some girls don’t bleed until they’re fourteen, some as late as sixteen.”

“Why does it matter so much to you that I’m going to bleed? Why are you so happy to see my life ruined by something I did when I was eight years old?” Shurri punched the fence. “Do you want to see me torn apart by Wind Dragons?”

“They won’t kill you,” Lisette said with a certainty that made Shurri kick the fence. “It’s true! I’ve read about this kind of thing. There is a precedent for egg swaps. If they learn what you’ve done, they’ll kill your dragons and conscript you to the Order.”

“That’s only if you’re right. If I never bleed and our dragons never mature into their sex, we’ll be fine!”

Lisette snapped back. “Are you listening to yourself? Even if that happens, people will notice! How old do you think your dragon will get before they start asking questions about draconic lineage?”

Iyes tried to get her attention. “Lisette.”

“I’m not going to lie about this, Iyes, I-”

Shurri slumped down onto the rashes. Her knees and boots covered in a mess of mud, droppings, and leftover fish guts. Labored breathing brought out a tremble in her chest. Her shoulders and arms shook and she struggled to keep her hands balled into fists. Lost in a freefall on solid ground, her head spun and her vision narrowed.

The male dragon destined for death put his head against Shurri’s side. The outward facing teeth poked against the side of her tunic. She wrapped her arms around Cedia. She buried her face in his muzzle until she saw nothing but blue scales. He put a single wing over her back and let out a comforting grunt.

“We have to save him,” she told her friends. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Neither girl said anything to comfort her friend. Dragons were tied to their riders. No matter what happened to Shurri, Cedia would suffer for her crime. But she was born to the house of dreams. There had to be some way for her to realize a future where Cedia was alive and well. Even if Shurri didn’t deserve mercy, how could anyone believe that a young dragon was better dead than alive?

~ ~ ~

The week passed and little changed. Iyes was made to visit the debutant and apologize before her family. The woman was more concerned with being fit for her next gown, but her humiliation satisfied her mother’s wrath. Lisette tried to talk to Shurri about other titles or areas of focus, but Shurri wasn’t interested in a new dream. Animals brought her comfort and happiness, even with the inescapable truth that she’d sentenced Cedia to die.

Shurri was asked to take the osprey out of the cage. She turned the key. The clever eyes of yellow watched her not with curiousity or anticipation, but resignation. When she reached out to grab the osprey, it lashed out at Shurri, clawing and pecking, but the attacks only found the hard leather of her gloves. Once her fingers held her chest and feet, the mother relented. She looked out the window. Uncountable clouds spread out over the sky, but they showed no signs of coalescing into rain. The blue behind the clouds was more vibrant than the gulf, more pristine than sapphires, smoother than azure scales, and brighter than the dreams of little girls.

Held tight, Shurri let the mother look to the clouds. The scalpel of Shurri’s classmate sunk into the bird’s neck. The osprey’s eyes didn’t change to amber, gray, or orange. Shurri saw yellow and blood. Slowly she put the raptor onto the table. Children went to work defeathering and mutilating the fallen mother. When the Pupil came around to take Shurri’s bloody gloves, she thanked him.

Given pliers to pry apart the bird’s chest she looked inside and saw the beauty in her natural construction. Here she could make out the heart, and there the lungs. As they took measurements and discussed the anatomy with hesitation, Shurri understood the bird in a way that was mechanical. The books on anatomy failed to show the complexity of these interconnected systems lying on top of each other. Even the eyes of the osprey taught her nothing about how an osprey lived. When the lesson was complete, the magic of learning left Shurri, and the specimen was once again a dead mother lying on a metal tray. It was in that moment that Shurri craved the life of an Edler of Animals while sharing a self hatred for treating the dead mother like a children’s toy.